Friday, January 1, 2016

Spring Movie Season 2016

This time of year is usually a down time for movies. The Holidays are over and the big summer blockbusters are still a long way off.

This also, I think, is the time when the most pretentious movies of the year debut.

Still, let's take a look at what's in store for the next few months.

I've added trailers for most of these (so you won't be able to see them on the mobile version of this site). But I've left a few of them off that I thought wouldn't be appropriate.

Here is a list, with a few brief thoughts of my own, including on a scale of 1-5 stars my likelihood of seeing it in theaters (1 being “Not at all” 5 being “Cannot wait!”).

January 8

The Revenant

(**) Performances look good, but Birdman soured me on this director


13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi

(****) If Michael Bay does this right, it could be visceral and powerful.

Ride Along 2

Ride Along 2 poster.jpg

(**)  First one was okay.  I'll wait for Netflix.


The 5th Wave

(**) There is nothing about the trailer that has me remotely interested.  I don't know why because I usually like this kind of movie.

Dirty Grandpa

(*)  I actually found the trailer horribly disgusting.

The Boy

Dirty Grandpa teaser poster.jpg

(*) No to horror movies.


Lazer Team

(**) This could be one of those "so bad it's good" movies, but I don't think I'm going to spend money on it.


The Finest Hours

(***)  It looks good, but I'm worried that since this is an historical event, I'll find out the ending before I see it.

Kung Fu Panda 3

(****)  I loved the first one and haven't seen the second, but this one looks good.

Jane Got a Gun

(**)  I wish this looked more like an action movie than a pretentious art-house piece.


Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

(***)  This actually looks like it could be a lot of fun.

Hail, Caesar!

(*)  Am I the only person in the world who thinks that all Coen Brother comedies are awful?

The Choice

(**)  Nicholas Sparks strikes again.  But this one looks less depressing than others.



(*****)  I am not opposed to ultra-violence on screen if done correctly, and I think this might be just the right kind.

How to be Single

How To Be Single Poster.jpg

(**)  Good cast, but it just feels like one long episode of Sex and the City (not a good thing)

Zoolander 2

(*)  Couldn't stand the first one, no desire to see the second.



(***)  I am intrigued but I am skeptical about how they will approach the subject.


(***)  Historical drama that looks like an exciting sports movie too.


Gods of Egypt

(*)  A lot has been written about the strange racial casting, but I just think the movie looks lame.

Triple 9

(***)  A great cast, but I need to be convinced.

Eddie the Eagle

(***)  This looks like it could be a nice, inspirational story.


London Has Fallen

(****)  I didn't see Olympus Has Fallen, but the trailer to this movie looks awesome.


(***)  Could be good.  But I still need to be convinced.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

(**)  I've given up on trying to connect to Tina Fey.  I just can't.

Knight of Cups

Knight of Cups poster.jpg

(*)  I can't stand Terrence Malick's direction.


The Brothers Grimsby

The Brothers Grimsby poster.png

(*)  I like Mark Strong, but cannot stand Sasha Baron Cohen.

The Young Messiah

(****)  I am really hoping this movie is good.


The Divergent Series: Allegiant

(*)  Didn't see the other 2 and have no desire to see this one.

Miracles from Heaven

(***)  I really liked Heaven is For Real, and this was made by the same people.

Midnight Special

(**)  Looks too pretentious to be good.

The Little Prince

(****)  This actually looks like it could be emotionally and thematically strong.


Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

(*****)  I loved Man of Steel, and I am so excited to finally see these 2 DC icons go at it!

My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2

(**)  It feels like this movie is decades too late

I Saw the Light

(**)  Not a big Hank Williams fan, so this trailer does nothing for me.

God's Not Dead 2

(**) I think the ideas are timely, but I question if this will be done well.


The Boss

The Boss poster.png

(***)  It could be funny, but I wasn't impressed with Spy.


The Jungle Book

(***)  Not one of my favorite Disney films, but I like Jon Favreau as a director


The Huntsman: Winter's War

(***)  Snow White and the Huntsman was better than I expected, but I think I'll wait on this one.


  1. "If Michael Bay does this right, it could be visceral and powerful."

    I'm still trying to wrap my head around that sentence; Bey, the Transformers guy? Of the Three Vs to describe movies, I would go with either Vicarious or Voyeuristic long before I'd give Visceral the most infinitesimal of thoughts. Then only as the Visceral concussive pain from the over driven sound system.

    Visceral implies, at some level, an emotional connection.

    Look to Where the Wild Things Are.

    Read The Little Prince before you see the movie; padding out the story will most likely be a huge steaming dump. Gene Wilder and Bob Fosse were in the last adaptation.

    "I like Mark Strong, but cannot stand Sasha Baron Cohen."

    Same here. HOWEVER - Cohen gave a pitch perfect performance in Hugo.

    "Snow White and the Huntsman was better than I expected, but I think I'll wait on this one."

    Didn't care for Huntsman. Although Theron has me in a state of Perpetual Impure Thoughts.

    "This actually looks like it could be a lot of fun."

    The book, of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. was a hoot and a half.

    " Not a big Hank Williams fan, so this trailer does nothing for me."

    I am a fan of Hank Williams, and that trailer does nothing for me either. I hope it will inspire more contemporary artists to cover his work. Norah Jones has been the only artist I know that has done anything meaningful.

    Slim pickings. Disney hopes to have another Star Wars film out by next Christmas, just in time for shopping.

    1. 1. I stand by my statements about Michael Bay. He is a fantastic visual director. I agree that his material has not always filmed quality material, but the man knows how to create a visually engaging piece of cinema. That is why I am hoping that 13 Hours will finally allow his visual side to connect with his story side the way I was hoping it would do in Pearl Harbor

      2. I 100% agree about Cohen in Hugo. He nailed it. But this is one of his full-throttle comedies and I don't think he will show the restraint he did under Martin Scorcese.

      3. I am sorry that Theron has that effect on you, but I must say she is a talented actress ;)

      4. I am shocked, shocked I say that you would imply that Disney has a consumerist agenda behind produce these Star Wars films :)

  2. God is Not Dead 2: The Reckoning. Let he who is without sin kick the first *ss!

    Dude really?

    Timely message and all - OK. If you want to send a message use Western Union.

    I would rather sit through a Highway to Heaving AND Bad Touched by an Angle every episode ever marathon. At least Micheal Landon has nice hair and Roma Downey has a cute accent.

    1. I actually agree with you for the most part. As one of my best friends point out, the main problem with God's Not Dead is not that its positive portrayal of believers but its horrible portrayal of unbelievers. It makes anyone who is not a Christian look like a monster.

      And I think you get at the reason why most Christian-based movies are terrible: they put preaching over storytelling. I think that a great movie should also have a theme that leads to the good, the true, and the beautiful (i.e. to God). But art works by different natural laws than rhetoric.

    2. Not to get deep.

      Propaganda doesn't work for me. Make a movie with a character who walks the walk.

      Show don't tell.

      Nothing has effected me as profoundly as the strength and comfort my Aunt Cici drew form her faith and the community of her faith.