When I was in grade school, once a month we would gathering around the Blessed Sacrament in adoration. And when we would go there for our holy hour, my grade-school self would tell you: I was so bored. I would kneel, close my eyes, and count the seconds until it ended.
You have to understand: I was raised Catholic all my life, but the Eucharist was not important to me. My parents would have to drag me kicking and screaming (sometimes literally) to Sunday mass and I was a terror to them for long because I was SOOO bored. I couldn’t wait to get out of there and get back to all of the fun things I had waiting for me back home like my action figures, comic books, Nintendo (Princess Peach wasn’t going to rescue herself!). Eventually I made my first communion and from that point on when we went to mass I would walk up the communion line and the minister would say “Body of Christ,” I would mindlessly respond “Amen.”
I look back on my younger self and I see someone who was in the presence of God, but I had no awareness of it.
Hebrews 12:22 says that we have come to Mount Zion, the heavenly Jerusalem. When we are around the altar, with us are countless angels with all of the souls in heaven. In this room with us are Sts. Peter, Paul, Michael, Joseph, Mary Magdalene, Carlo Acutis, Therese of Lisieux, Francis of Assisi, Maria Gorettie, Joan of Arc, and so many others. And yet, how often do we come here unaware of their presence.
At least, that’s what I was, until I was 17. I made a retreat where things changed. At one point on that weekend, we had a Eucharistic Adoration like I had in grade school. And just like all throughout grade school, I knelt and closed my eyes, and began counting the seconds until it ended. What I didn’t know was that the group I was with were Charismatic Catholics. For those who have never been with the Charismatics, they can be very vocal about their faith. So as we knelt, I was surrounded by people shouting their prayers towards the Blessed Sacrament saying: “Praise you, Jesus, Glory and honor to you, Jesus, I love you Jesus, my Lord and my God!”
I remember thinking: this is weird. I was incredibly uncomfortable as I continued to count the seconds until it ended. But then as they kept shouting their praise and I knelt in silence, a thought occurred to me. I have been Catholic all my life and every time I went to communion and they said “Body of Christ,” I would respond, “Amen.” My thought was this: If I really believed what I said I believed, how could I not be filled with joy in the presence of God?”
And then I opened my eyes and I saw Jesus. I don’t mean I had an apparition. But when I looked at the Host, I was given the eyes of faith and I experienced the presence of God. Faith is gift. I didn’t earn it and I don’t deserve, but it was given to me that night. And that is when everything changed for me. I began to mass every day. It set me on the path that led me to my life as a theology teacher and God willing soon an ordained deacon.
That isn’t to say I became a saint. For those who are watching The Chosen, I love the way it shows the Apostles have a life changing experience by the presence of God, but they still screw up like we all do. But they are continually transformed by being in the the presence of God day after day.
Dr. Peter Kreeft said that the heart of the spiritual life is to practice the presence of God.
God is all around us. He is not only in the church, but He is with us when we leave, at work, school, home… His presence never leaves. But we can ignore it. I did for many years. And even now I can get so caught up with work or home life that I can still forget.
But we go to the Eucharist to help us practice the presence of God. We go to Mount Zion to experience His presence. Even Jesus gave us this model. At least four times in the Gospels, Christ would go up to the mountain to pray. Why a mountain?
Perhaps it’s because on that mountain, He was removed from ordinary life, from all of the crowds and noise and demands of daily life. He could then practice the Presence of His Heavenly Father. The Eucharistic table is our mountain. In this space we are removed from ordinary life, if we allow it. Here we can remove ourselves from the noise and demands of daily life and practice the presence of God.
And if we let it, something amazing can happen: we can let God’s presence live in our hearts. And His presence can give us peace, a peace the world cannot give. His presence can fill us with the love that is the deepest longing of our hearts. St. Augustine said that our hearts are restless until they rest in God. Our lives can change.
One of my favorite stories from the Gospels is the story of the woman with the hemorrhage. She had been suffering for 12 years but she pushed through the crowds in the street to touch Jesus’ clothing and she was healed. I love this story because Jesus was probably touched by hundreds of people in that crowd, but only one was healed. And the difference was faith. She believed in the presence of God in Him.
How many times did I go to receive communion when I was young and received the Body of Christ thoughtlessly, like I was getting a snack in the lunch line? I touched Christ, but my life was not changed. But when I practiced the presence of God, every time I received the Eucharist, my heart is touched by Him.
And here is the wonderful thing: when we experience His presence here on our Mount Zion, we can then better practice His presence when we leave this place. We can better see Him in our friends, family, and co-workers. We can even experience His presence in our work, our chores, and even our crosses. I encourage you to take this experience of God here and practice His presence every day this week. Take a moment every day to ask God to reveal His presence in your daily life.
