New Evangelizers Post: The Inconstant Soul

I have a new article up at NewEvangelizers.com.  

As we are in the midst of Holy Week there are many momentous things upon which we can reflect. Something that is striking me is the theme of inconsistency.

We can constantly see throughout the Gospels that the disciples run both hot and cold with Jesus. In John 6, the people want to make Him their king. But then in verse 66, it says that many of his followers leave Him and go back to their former way of life. Peter says he would rather die than deny Jesus, but hours later he commits apostasy by the charcoal fire. Many people also point to the crowds on Palm Sunday crying out “Hosanna!” and then point to the crowds shouting “Crucify Him!” 5 days later (although Pope Benedict XVI makes clear that the crowds hailing Jesus are not from Jerusalem and the ones calling for His death are).

Inconstancy is one of the main problems of the spiritual life. Many of us can point to important moments in our lives where we encountered Christ in a powerful way. We may even see these moments as epiphanies that separate our lives into before and after. I know that I can see that in my own life, particularly when I came to my conversion when I 17-years-old. But life is messy and our journey to Christ is not always a constant assent.

I write this now not to my spiritual betters, but to those who are like me, those who struggle to be consistent in my relationship to God. There those who never waiver once their path is set right, like St. Paul. But I relate much more to St. Peter. He keeps having profound experiences of the Jesus, but he keeps screwing up.

Many of us think that if we just would have that one epiphany or see that one miracle that we want, then all of our struggles in faith and morals would be over. This experience would set our will firmly, never to waiver. But the witness of Scripture tells us that this mostly does not happen.

The Hebrews saw the power of God with 10 plagues, including the Passover, and the parting of the Red Sea. And they still worshipped the Golden Calf.

Peter walked on water, but he waived by the charcoal fire.

I believe that Jesus is my God and I love Him, yet I don’t always live the way I should.

Why is that?

You can read the whole article here.