Saturday, January 10, 2015

Spring Movie Season 2015

This time of year is usually a down time for movies. The Holidays are over and the big summer blockbusters are still a long way off.

This also, I think, is the time when the most pretentious movies of the year debut.

Still, let's take a look at what's in store for the next few months.

I've added trailers for most of these (so you won't be able to see them on the mobile version of this site). But I've left a few of them off that I thought wouldn't be appropriate (like the one that had half a hundred hues of a certain color)

Here is a list, with a few brief thoughts of my own, including on a scale of 1-5 stars my likelihood of seeing it in theaters (1 being “Not at all” 5 being “Cannot wait!”).

Jan 9

Selma -
(***)  Looks interesting, but I can wait for Netflix

Predestination -
(**)  I have no clue if this time travel movie will be any good

Taken 3 -
(****) Saw the first 2 in the theater, but I think I'll wait for word of mouth on this one.

Inherent Vice  - (*) Looks mind-numbingly awful

Preservation - (*) I don't like horror movies much any more

Jan 16
Little Accidents - (*) Dark and pretentious (a word you might find a lot on this list).  

The Wedding Ringer -
(***) The trailer made me laugh and it could be good.

Paddington -
 (**) Never got into the books as a kid, so this isn't a big draw

Blackhat -
(***) Interesting premise, but not really grabbing me.
American Sniper -
(****)  I do not like Eastwood as a director.  He consistently disappoints me.  But I still kind of want to see this.  What's wrong with me?

Still Alice -
 (**) Wow does this look sad and depressing.  

Jan 23
The Humbling -
 (**) I could almost see this working, but it looks like a dark movie being sold as a comedy.

We'll Never Have Paris -
(**) I would be more interested if the trailer didn't give away 3/4 of the movie, it seems.

Strange Magic -
 (**) Nothing is drawing me to this.

The Boy Next Door - (*) I cannot tell me how much I do not want to see this.  It looks so incredibly awful.  I'm already predicting that it will be this year's Catwoman.

Mortdecai - (**)  I think I get it.  It's Johnny Depp's Pink Panther.  But it isn't grabbing me.

Cake -
 (**) Jennifer Aniston is uglifying herself here, so I think she's going for an Oscar.

Against the Sun -
(**) I like the actors, but this is bad timing seeing as how this movie looks just like a huge chunk of the hit movie Unbroken.

Jan 30

Project Almanac - (**) I really am tired of the found footage genre.  I'm ready for something else.

The Loft - (*)  This is the kind of movie that feels like I'm going to hate every character.

Black or White
- (**) I like the actors and I like the idea, but I'm getting a "Losing Isaiah" vibe.

Feb 6

The Voices -
(*) Very American Psycho.  Not good.

The Seventh Son -
(*) Looks terrible.  Downright terrible.

Jupiter Ascending -
(*) After Cloud Atlas, the Wachowschis are tainted.  Looks awful.

SpongeBob: Sponge Out of Water -
(*) This show was big with the students I teach now.  But I can't get into it at all.
Pass the Light -
(*) Something tells me this is going to be an attempt to demonize and invert Christian morality.  Maybe I'm wrong, but I am not optimistic.

Feb 13
Accidental Love - (*)  Terrible.  Just terrible.  Apparently David O Russell has disowned this movie (which was mostly filmed in 2008), and it was shut down 14 different times.

Fifty Shades of Grey  - (*)  I'll be curious to see if this movie is a hit in correlation to the book sales or if people would rather not go out to see something like this.  And on Valentine's Day?  Since when did inflicting pain on someone become a romantic thing?

Kingsman: The Secret Service -
(**) I hated Kick-Ass, and this movie feels a lot like it.  But it has a visual flair… I think I'll wait on this.

The Last 5 Years - (**) I like Anna Kendrick, but this looks just so horribly depressing.  Why?

Feb 20

Hot Tub Time Machine 2 - (*) Didn't see the first one.  Don't care about this one.

McFarland, USA -
(***) A Kevin Costner sports movie?  I think thinks could be good.  Or maybe I'm just a sucker for a U2 song in a trailer.

The DUFF -
 (****)  I don't what it is that I like about this trailer.  I think Mae Whitman is actually really funny and this could be a  star-making turn for her.  This seems a little cheesy, but I think it will have a lot of charm.

Feb 27

The Lazarus Effect -
(*) Again, don't like horror movies.

The Vatican Tapes - (*) I am skeptical that the Vatican is going to come off as holy.

Focus - (**) This could be Will Smith's comeback, but I don't think Margot Robbie has the charisma this movie needs.

Maps to the Stars - (*) Looks weird.  And depressing.  Depressing and weird.

Outcast -
(**) I actually wouldn't be opposed to seeing this.

Little Boy -
 (****) Something tells me this little movie is going to be a little moving.

Mar 6

Unfinished Business - (**) Vince Vaughn debauchery just doesn't seem as fun to me anymore.

 Chappie -
(**) I don't know, I like my sci-fi to be non-preachy, and I can't help but feel I'm going to get a sermon out of this one.

The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel - (*) Didn't see the first. 

Mar 13

The Cobbler -
 (****) Adam Sandler is hit or miss, but the scene with Dustin Hoffman got me.

- (****)  I trust Kenneth Brannagh as a director (Frankenstein not withstanding) and that score is just stuck in my head.

Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension - (*) No horror movies

In the Heart of the Sea -
 (*) I don't know what it is with Ron Howard lately choosing movie ideas that have zero interest for me.  Why not just make Moby Dick?

Mar 20

Danny Collins
- (****) Despite my resistance, I found this trailer charming.  I might have to see it in theaters.

The Divergent Series: Insurgent

- (*) Didn't see the first

The Gunman -
 (*) This doesn't look like anything special.  Pass.

Do You Believe?
- (***) I didn't see God's Not Dead, and this is made by the same people.  It looks like Crash meets Heaven is For Real.  I'm curious.

Mar 27

Get Hard
- (**) Will Ferrel movies tend to look good only in trailers and this seems like a remake of a Rob Schneider movie called Big Stan.  But it might be alright.

- (**) It looks like a knock-off PIXAR film.  Not optimistic.

White God
- (*) Rise of the Planet of the Apes, but with dogs.  No, seriously.  With a pretensious title.

Serena - (*) This movie looks stupid on every level, even with its cast.

While We're Young
- (**) An intriguing idea that I think will be ruined by an artsy writer/director

It Follows  - (*) No to horror movies.

A Little Chaos - (*) I like the idea of Alan Rickman directing, but the story of the garden of Versailles with a little pro-infidelity on the side?  No thanks.

Apr 1

Hillsong - Let Hope Rise
- (**) I like the trailer, but I'm not sure I'm interested in a concert movie.

Apr 3

Furious 7
- (**) I am not up to date on this franchise, but I respect that it is still going strong.

The Woman in Gold
- (**) Ryan Reynolds is trying more grown-up roles.  Good for him, but this movie doesn't look very interesting.

Apr 10

The Longest Ride
- (*)  A Nicholas Sparks movie?  I'll predict the body count at around a dozen.

Ex Machina
- (**) This looks like a mind-twister, but I cannot get excited about it for some reason.

True Story
- (***) I really dug the trailer.  I just wish it had a different cast.
Apr 17

Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2

- (**)  Let's face it: the first one was stupid.  I like Kevin James, but I don't think I can lay down my hard earned money for this.

Run All Night
- (***) I think Liam Neeson revenge movies should be their own genre.  This actually looks like it could be exciting.  

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