Sunday, March 9, 2014

Sunday Best: Oscar Results

Okay, so the Oscars were last Sunday.

I tried to live tweet the entire event, but I did something I haven't done in years: I fell asleep during the awards.  I've made it through some of the worst, most bizare, most offensive broadcasts in my life.  But I couldn't make it through this one because it was SOOOOOOOO boring.

Ellen was a terrible host.  I don't think she is untalented.  But nearly every single one of her jokes fell flat.  There was way too much dead time and the bits were beaten to death.

There were also way too many tributes.  As I've written before, only the In Memoriam should be kept.

As a Catholic, I was very pleased that two people specifically thanked God for their success.  I know that this is a small drop in the bucket of self-importance, but even these baby steps should be encouraged.  When you have an audience of millions listening, it is a truly wonderful thing to take that moment and give praise to the Lord.


Best Picture:
My prediction - American Hustle
Winner: 12 Years a Slave
I bet big on American Hustle and I lost.  I did acknowledge that I was in the minority and that the odds were stacked on 12 Years a Slave.  I have not seen the movie, (like some of the Academy members who voted for it, apparently) but I have heard that it was incredibly powerful.

Best Director:
My prediction - David O. Russel
Winner - Alfonso Cuaron

I was very pleased to be wrong here.  As you have read here on this blog, I believe that Cuaron is the best director this year, but I predicted that the Academy would lean toward one of their favorites, Russel.  The visual power of Gravity cannot be denied and so I'm glad that the Academy recognized Cuaron's great work.

Best Actor:
My prediction - Matthew McConaughey
Winner - Matthew McConaughey

I haven't seen Dallas Buyers Club, but McConaughey hit all of the right buttons.  I was not surprised at all by this win.

Best Actress
My prediction - Cate Blanchette
Winner - Cate Blanchette

Ultimately, I figured that the stink of Woody Allen's depravity would matter little to the Hollywood elite and they would honor Blanchette for her performance.  I don't see Woody Allen movies, so I don't know if she was better than Amy Adams, but from everything I've heard, she was excellent.

Best Supporting Actor
My prediction - Jared Leto
Winner - Jared Leto

He wasn't not going to win.  Shoe-in.

Best Supporting Actress
My prediction - Jennifer Lawrence
Winner - Lupita Nyong'o

I went with Lawrence because of the performances I've seen, hers was the best.  But from the few clips I've seen of Nyong'o in 12 Years a Slave, I see glimpses of strong, raw energy.

So, even though I am immersed in the pop culture, I apparently lack the ability to apply this knowledge to accurately predict awards.  I have a good friend of mine, Rick O, who once mentioned that I predict based not on my knowledge but on my hopes.  Looking at last week's Oscars, maybe he's right.

Anyway, below are a reprint of my live tweets up until I fell asleep, chronologically from bottom to top.  Enjoy (or mock mercilessly)

  1. you can tell how long this show is by looking at how much kate hudson has aged
  2.  Retweeted by 
    Bette Midler is actually flapping her wings during WIND BENEATH MY WINGS. "Lookee here! I have wings!"
  3.  Retweeted by 
    The oscars remind us of what's important. And it's not the Oscars.
  4.  Retweeted by 
    And remember that, in her later years, Hollywood all but abandoned Judy. Tragic.
  5. Why, Whoopie, why? I don't need another tribute song. Just get on with the darn awards!
  6.  Retweeted by 
  7.  Retweeted by 
    without the hard work of editors, every movie would be wolf of wall street
  8. Bill Murray's mention of Harold Ramis is my favorite moment of the night
  9. We interrupt this interminably long show for a pizza break for rich people
  10. I don't think I'm gonna make it... Fading fast... Show is soooo boring....
  11. Why did Liza hug her. I must have missed Ms. Minnelli's contribution to 12 Years a Slave
  12. That selfie moment... I think we just saw everything we hate about awards shows in miniature
  13. I'm just thinking how Homer snuck in backstage to see U2: "Potato Man!"
  14. I was thinking that what this show needed was to slow things down with a song from the makers of Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark

  15. These "Previously on the Oscars" moments should include all the awards we don't care about
  16.  Retweeted by 
    Ha ha YAY Kevin Spacey does his famous Foghorn Leghorn impersonation!!
  17.  Retweeted by 
    One hour later: Darlene Love still singing, nobody knows what to do
  18. A real Frank Underwood would be welcome at this full show
  19. Hey, God got mentioned. I thought they'd bleep that
  20.  Retweeted by 
    Short films are important, but I don't know if they're "TV" important.
  21. They need to cut ALL shorts from the telecast

  22. Why was Ellen holding a guitar? Are all of the jokes random?
  23. This is a nice song and all, but with the show dragging, how many of you want Beluschi to come out and smash the guitar?
  24. Tribute to real life heroes in movies (Jesus conspicuously missing)
  25. Frozen! Well deserved! Should also win best song
  26.  Retweeted by 
    McConnaughey-Novak buddy cop movie coming THIS FALL
  27.  Retweeted by 
    “The presenter banter works every year let’s definitely keep doing that”
  28. Wow, this banter is the worst I've ever heard. Painful
  29.  Retweeted by 
    Ellen DeGeneres-Bradley Cooper shtick just a time suck.
  30.  Retweeted by 
    Three awards. 45 minutes. But at least Channing introduced us to the teen UN
  31.  Retweeted by 
    I was hoping they'd showcase a bunch of children who made 60 second movies but I didn't dare myself the dream.
  32. The academy did a nation wide search to find young filmmakers to make the oscars LONGER
  33.  Retweeted by 
    Harrison smoked a few crystal skulls before taking the stage.
  34. We're nearly 30 minutes into the telecast. Number awards given: 1. Number awards remaining: 23
  35.  Retweeted by 
    A hatless Smokey the Bear waits impatiently offstage.
  36. Is the Oscar telecast doing a live Old Navy Commercial?
  37. Oh no... a full song... Reason #89 why this telecast is so long
  38.  Retweeted by 
    The kids love the Bruce Dern impressions! The kids over 50.
  39. Tribute to animated heroes: Reason #88 why this telecast is so long
  40.  Retweeted by 
    “He really gets us” - Ukrainians
  41. Let used the 2 ways to improve Oscar wins: Men - if straight, play gay Women - if pretty, uglify yourself
  42. Okay, I was going to make fun of Leto, but he just gave such a nice speech about his mom
  44. "Possibility #1: 12 Years a Slave wins best picture. Possibility #2: you're all racists." That does sum up 12 Years a Slave Oscar Campaign
  45.  Retweeted by 
    I hear that army of semi transparent Oscars comes to life and fights to the death with shirtless Christian Bale.
  46. "Who's the wine captain now?" I'm having Uma/Oprah flashbacks.
  47. I didn't realize that Austin Powers suits were back in style

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