Sunday, June 18, 2023

Happy Father's Day 2023

 

I wish to extend a Happy Father's Day to all of the dads out there.

Being a father is quite possibly the most important thing that you can be as a man.  My wife and I are not blessed with children, so I do not have first-hand experience of this vocation.  

But it is still deeply rooted in a man's soul to emulate the lessons of fatherhood he has learned and pass them down.  I think this is one of the reasons we call our priests "Father."  They are called to do spiritually what so many men are called to do by nature.  I would never put what I do as a teacher on the same level as what parents do every day.  But by word and example I try to impart any goodness I have learned.  

According to a Federal government study from 1998 (I could not find the updated statistics), here are some of sad realities of homes without fathers (summarized by liveaboutdocom):

  • Suicide: 63 percent of youth suicides
  • Runaways: 90 percent of all homeless and runaway youths
  • Behavioral Disorders: 85 percent of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders
  • High School Dropouts: 71 percent of all high school dropouts
  • Juvenile Detention Rates: 70 percent of juveniles in state-operated institutions
  • Substance Abuse: 75 percent of adolescent patients in substance abuse centers
  • Aggression: 75 percent of rapists motivated by displaced anger

To be clear, this is not to condemn families who are not living the ideal of the two-parent household.  The stats above are there to help show the positive impact that fathers have in the lives of their children.

Growing up, I had a mostly antagonistic relationship with my father.  To paraphrase Fr. Larry Richards, in the arrogance of a son, I judged my father because he wasn't the kind of dad I wanted him to be.  I thought he was too hard on my and too insensitive.  

But my father has always loved me more than I could understand.  Something I have written before on this blog is this: a father understands that his child will not remain a child for very long.  His sons will become men and his daughters will become women.  And while the love he bears his children may be unconditional and protecting, the world outside of the home is harsh and unjust.  A father must prepare the child to weather the storm of life and not be destroyed by it.  All those horrible stats above are like an encroaching darkness that the father works so hard to keep at bay.  He is the sentinel on the wall who knows that there is no daybreak.

Being a father can be a thankless job.  But the fathers I know who find the most reward are the ones who give as much of their time to their kids.  I am blessed to be have a good circle of friends who are wonderful fathers.  I love listening to how involved their are in their kids' lives.  And even as I hear the natural exhaustion in their voices that comes from the commitment of fatherhood, I always hear a sense of peace and fulfillment that I did not hear in them until they became fathers.

To all fathers: my prayers for you this day.  May God bless you abundantly as you shape the world for the better by raising your children to be Children of God.


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