In fact, many of them are downright terrible.
These films will have no legacy with me except for the rage and/or boredom that they inspired. So I thought I would share with you my thoughts about what have been the worst films of the last ten years.
Upon reflection, I noticed that a good portion of these movies were things that I had either happened upon through streaming or more obscure films that I borrowed from the library. I didn't think that I should combine a list of well-known and lesser-known films in the same list. On some level it isn't fair because studio movies have larger budgets and can overcome some quality issues. Also, mixing the two lists would not be as fun a read. If you like reading about more obscure movies, this is the one list for you. But if you want to read about bad movies that you've probably heard of, I would wait until next week.
Looking over this list, I found one common thread through many of these films. I don't seem to tolerate films with self-centered leads. Of course this is not the case if there is growth, if there is an arc. But there is something rather insidious about a number of these independent films where the "hero" is someone who starts selfless and grows very little. I suspect that this might be because they are reflections of the filmmakers, but I could be wrong.
So here are the 25 Worst Movies of the Decade (Obscure)
25. The Knights of Badassdom (2013)
Could have been a nice tribute to the genre like Evil Dead 2 and Army of Darkness, but it focused on the least interesting characters, lacked any real humor, and wasted talent like Peter Dinklage and Danny Pudi.
24. The Cobbler (2014)
This one had such potential to be a good film. Sandler can do incredibly good, cathartic work like Click. But this one feels so incredibly lazy and all of the emotional beats miss because of the incompetence of the storytelling.
23. To The Wonder (2012)
This is what happens when a filmmaker isn't interested in making a movie put making a visual poem. Yes, it is pretty to look at, but it lacks all human connection and interest.
22. Hector and the Search for Happiness (2014)
Another top-notch concept that is botched because the filmmakers don't understand that we cannot care about a character's journey if they behave like an absolute piece of crap.
21. Cyrus (2010)
The movie is just look into the strange dynamic of a woman and her man-child son that thinks creepiness is a substitute for humor.
20. The Last 5 Years (2015)
While the music and singing are beautiful, the characters are so self-involved and the subject so dour that you pray to God that no actual human beings look at the world the way this movie does.
19. All Is True (2012)
The talent assembled in front of and behind the camera is completely betrayed by a script that is so inept that it makes the life of Shakespeare a complete bore.
18. Sleeping with Other People (2015)
Though not terribly graphic, this is a gross story about people who are really ugly on the inside.
17. Laggies (2014)
Keira Knightly and Sam Rockwell have decent chemistry, but the main character's complete lack of maturity of consideration of others makes this film difficult to watch.
16 and 15. Drinking Buddies (2013) and Happy Christmas (2014)
I'm taking these two together because they are from the same filmmaker. I remember watching Drinking Buddies with my wife and the dialogue just seemed... off. It lacked any kind of polish or structure. My wife turned to me and said, "Are they making up their lines on the spot?" Sure enough I looked it up and it turned out that the director only had scene descriptions and let the actors improv all of their lines. And it shows. On top of that, both movies feature characters that are so horribly unlikeable that I don't understand why anyone wanted to tell these stories.
14. Somewhere (2010)
I'm going to be honest: this movie had such a small impact on me that I barely remember it. All I vaguely remember is how much it bored me.
13. The Lifeguard (2013)
I am huge fan of Kristen Bell, but this is a horrible film about someone who refuses to grow up and in the processes corrupts the young people with whom she comes in contact.
12. Cake (2015)
Jennifer Aniston was clearly trying for an Oscar, and she does a fine job. But this is a story about a woman suffering through chronic pain, but it feels like the director wanted the audience to sympathize by putting us through the pain of sitting through the movie.
11. Friends with Kids (2012)
This movie is a such a disgusting view of marriage and family. It isn't even that it is graphic, but it portrays the foundational unit of society as something unfulfilling and inhuman, which drives people to cold savagery. It also has the absolute worst final line of any movie I think I have ever seen.
10. Save the Date (2012)
A story of two selfish sister where nothing of consequence happens and awful people remain awful.
9. Authors Anonymous (2014)
This movie feels so cheap. The cast is decent, but they all feel like they are phoning in performances because they know how poor the script is.
8. Damsels in Distress (2011)
A movie about a quirky group of sorority girls should have at least some life to it. But everything in this film is terrible. It also veers into perversion in such utterly strange ways.
7. Computer Chess (2013)
Shot on an incredibly low budget, the movie takes place in the 80's with computer programmers trying to create a chess program that can is superior. That idea is intriguing, but what follows are odd vignettes that are as confusing as they are pointless.
6. Escape From Tomorrow (2013)
This movie got some press because it was filmed on iPhones inside of a Disney Theme park. But that is the only thing interesting about it. The main character is a man with his wife and family who spends the movie stalking two teenage girls in the park. Even without the weird Eraserhead type stuff, this movie is awful.
5. Meek's Cutoff (2010)
This should have been Oregon Trail: The Movie. But NOTHING HAPPENS. It is two hours of settlers walking. Once someone points a gun at someone, but that's it. NOTHING HAPPENS!!!! And then it just ends!
4. Frances Ha (2012)
A girl's roommate moves out and she gets sad. That is the movie and there is nothing extraordinary or praiseworthy about it. And yet this film ended up on a ton of critics TOP 10 of the year. This is one of those head-scratches that will never make sense to me.
3. Space Station 76 (2014)
Honestly, I think this was how the filmmakers pitched the movie to the studio:
Filmmakers: "We have two movies we want to tell. One is family relationship drama about addiction and infidelity and how it ruins people lives like The Ice Storm. The second is a science fiction film that takes place on a space station in the future, but the aesthetic will be the way 1970's sci-fi movies and TV shows presented the distant future."
Studio Executive: "We only have budget for one movie."
Filmmakers: "We can make that work!"
The result is a film that is as bad as it is stupid.
2. Birdemic: Shock and Terror (2010)
Made on a budget of nothing by a person with no directing skills, a cast without any talented actors, and special effects that are so laughably bad that you cannot believe it was made, Birdemic is the epitome of bad movie making. Many people enjoy it because it is so bad. But that enjoyment does not deflect from the fact that it is terrible. It would take a truly atrocious film of an exceedingly awful nature to be worse than this...
1. Holy Motors (2012)
I... I...
I don't have the strength to write about this film all over again. Instead, I will quote myself from an early post from this blog:
I just subjected myself to what could be the worst movie I have seen.
Most cheap movie that are badly made at least understand that they are cheap and bad.
But Holy Motors is a movie that thinks it is bold and brilliant. And what drove me nuts was how most critics seemed to think the same.
I first read about Holy Motors on Ainitcool.com. The reviewer was hyperbolic in his praise. Of course in that same article he had similar words about Cloud Atlas. That should have been my first clue.
The movie is about a guy being driven around Paris putting on disguises and getting in weird situations. This plot actually sounds intriguing.
The result was not.
Nothing in the movie made sense.
Nothing.
The movie won several awards and received a 91% score on Rotten Tomatoes.
This movie is vile. I don't mean that it shows graphic nudity and violence (it does). It offends me not so much morally, but as a movie goer.
I want good art! I demand good movies. This is not the rant of petulant child. This is a plea from someone who LOVES movies.
Ultimately I believe that all art, if it serves the end of its nature, is a window into the the Good, the True, and the Beautiful.
Holy Motors felt like a window into the awful, the unreal, and the ugly.
...
Holy Motors represents, to me, the biggest problem with not only movies but art in general. The powers that be, the art critic establishment have engaged in (to paraphrase Nietzsche) a transvaluation of beauty. Beauty is now ugly. Truth is now pretention.
And there is nothing good.
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