Sunday, August 18, 2019
Sunday Best: Top Ten Arnold Schwarzenegger Movies
Arnold Schwarzenegger is one of the most unlikely movie stars of all time. But it is hard to argue that for over a decade he was one of the biggest box office draws in the world. In that time he made some great movies and some terrible movies.
A friend of mine recently requested that I do a list ranking Schwarzenegger's movies. Having made around 50 movies, I decided to focus on his top ten movies. As was suggested, I wouldn't focus on his top ten performances, as some of his greatest movies do not include some of his best acting.
10. The Running Man
The concept is better than the execution, but the production design was incredibly creative and the plot is pure action pulp. Stephen King hated this adaptation, and I understand why. The movie became a futuristic gladiator film with colorful villains.
9. Conan the Destroyer
Most people will point to Conan the Barbarian as the superior film, but I disagree. The first movie is so dark and self-serious and almost feels like being in a nightmare. Conan the Destroyer is a fun fantasy romp with a rag-tag group of heroes facing unlikely odds. This movie is so incredibly fun to watch.
8. Kindergarten Cop
I was incredibly skeptical of this movie when my dad took me to the theater to see it. And yet it works so well to bring his action-movie persona into a family comedy. At the same time it is actually a decent crime/mystery movie.
7. Twins
This was one of Schwarzenegger's biggest risks. In fact, the story is that the studio had such little faith in it that Schwarzenegger, Danny DeVito, and Ivan Reitman all had to trade a salary for a percentage of the movie. It turns out it would be one of the largest pay days for all of the stars. The movie showed Schwarzenegger's comedic side and allowed him to put on an actual performance. At the same time, he had heart-felt chemistry.
6. Total Recall
This movie is insane. I've always said that it is one of the most original films I've ever seen. Where else could you watch a movie where a midget prostitute is standing on top of bar shooting Martian cops? The movie is an exercise in extremes while at the same time being a mind-twister as you try to figure out what is real and what isn't. It is one of his most violent films, but it works incredibly well.
5. Pumping Iron
I am so glad I didn't see this one until I was older. If I had seen what a jerk Schwarzenegger was in real life as a body builder I don't think I would have enjoyed his movies as much. Having said that, this movie is fascinating and insightful into the world of body-building.
4. Commando
I cannot explain how much I love this film. This is the most over-the-top action film Schwarzenegger made. It should be B-movie schlock, which it is at some level. But there is something about the ridiculousness that makes you buy into the movie. It has some of his absolute best one-liners and builds to Arnold killing an entire island of soldiers all by himself. My friends and I spent a night doing an estimate of how many people he killed and if you average 10 soldiers per building he blows up, Arnold kills 180 people. It was a good movie night. And it is a testament to Schwarzenegger that I did not completely tune out when he ripped a pipe off of the wall and throughout it through a man and a boiler. Instead of rolling my eyes, I cheer each time.
3. The Terminator
This movie is a low-budget genius. The story is so tight and the action is so raw. Schwarzenegger uses his lack of range to his advantage here by creating an intimidating and emotionless machine. The movie plays out like both an action movie and a horror movie, so the fate of the heroes is constantly in question. The movie is also incredibly fun on rewatch, as you see how James Cameron was able to craft such a visually arresting story. It also has the first instance of Schwarzenegger's signature catch phrase "I'll be back." When you watch the context, you can understand why it became so iconic.
2. Terminator 2: Judgment Day
This movie is amazing for several reasons. Some movies are better that their predecessors, but that is rarer still when that first movie is a real masterpiece. T2 expands the story in fascinating ways so that it follows a great deal of the same familiar plot structure of the first while adding new twists. The directing is incredible. Most people point to the special effects (which still hold up incredibly well almost 30 years later), but the stunt work is beyond compare. And the end is always so strangely compelling to me.
1. Predator
This might be a perfect movie. I read that poll in Bride magazine found that 80% of men preferred this movie to a happy marriage. Everything about this movie works. The characters are so well-defined in their roles in a way that most action movies do not. The film does an incredibly flip from pure action film to horror movie. The score is powerful and manly. It is actually one of the best man vs. monster films besides Jaws. At this time in his career, Schwarzenegger was seen as an almost unstoppable action machine. This placed him in the vulnerable position where we actually worried he wouldn't make it through. I can put this movie in and watch it from start to finish without being bored once. In fact... I think I know what I'm doing when I get back from church today.
Thoughts?
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